Post move-um depression

Mark and I in NYC, our honeymoon, part one.
Mark and I lived together for a couple years before we got married, so when we came home from our honeymoon it wasn't like "Well, let's see how living together works out for us." But I was still rocked by the change, maybe just the change of status. It was a tough adjustment for me. I thank god we already dealt with the "You leave your laundry piled on the floor?" discussion. Obviously, over time, I adjusted just fine, life went on and it is continuing to get better and better.

Ada's birth
We learned to love one another :)
When Ada was born, I was not the excitedly happy mother looking forward to bringing the baby home to her cute pink room. I was terrified. I would've stayed in the hospital forever if they'd have let me and just let the nurses go on changing her diapers and telling me what to do. Whenever someone asked how I was doing I would immediately burst into tears and explain that I had NO clue that I had to wake up several times throughout the night. I pictured her being a baby, being like a newborn for a number of years. In my panic, I didn't realize that she would, sooner than I knew it, be a one year old, then a two year old (had I known about the two year old I might've been even more stressed out) and even one day be almost three. I had no clue about the development of a child. Of course, I did adjust, with a lot of help from Mark, my family and Mark's family.

Hannah and I
When Hannah was born, I was SO happy and to be honest, I still feel a little guilty sometimes because I was such the opposite the first time with Ada.

Ada helping me make cookies at the new house
Now, we have a house and it's been, like the other big changes, a tough adjustment for me. I was actually very surprised when the anxiety and fear began to creep up in the back of my mind. I've been so excited to live here and I still am. I love it and like everything else, I'll get better at it. Better at cleaning this place, better at managing my time with the girls, better at decorating and maintaining and relaxing and being.

1 comment:

  1. you are so awesome. and I always love your honesty on here. :)