Old letters.

When Mark and I were digging ourselves out from underneath our pile of earthly possessions yesterday, and by that I mean, finally ridding my parents basement of all of the STUFF we've put down there for the past five years, I found a bunch of old letters. Not between Mark and I, unfortunately. But between my...yes...my old missionary boyfriend. Laugh if you will, I know it seems weird, but I waited for someone on a mission once.It seems like a whole other life ago, it was really about 8 years though. Ask me about it later if you want to.

I saved a lot of letters in this book and then there is a shoebox full...

So here's the thing. What do I do with like two hundred letters? I don't really want to read them again. I am over and done with the guy, we don't talk at all, he's happily married...

Throw them away I guess. It's just strange seeing mementos from the past, a past you've forgotten about, moved on from and don't think of although you lived so deeply in it.

On a side note, related but in a sideways way, I think the only thing tugging at me to NOT through away the letters is just to save them for the archival sense of keeping the past documented. Which, in writing this reminded me of a neat treasure I found yesterday that some day I will finish scanning, restoring and translating. Old letters and cards and photos a friend of a friend found in his east-coast home's attic from more than one hundred years ago. Neat.




So we moved into our perfect little home, and I decided to clean the carpet in our tv room since there was a...smell...coming from that room. Well, guess what I found? Lots and LOTS of dog hair. A lot. A whole lot and I only shampooed half the room...


So that's what I've been doing. Cleaning my perfect little home like a crackhead. All day. I go from one room to the next cleaning the baseboards, the doors, the door knobs, the door frames, cupboards, cupboard doors, blinds, switches and shampooing the carpet when I get a chance.

Some days I feel like crying while I clean and others I'm so happy to be almost done and one room closer to a sparkling clean home. What a crazy couple of weeks it has been. So, if I've ignored you, neglected our friendship, seemed non existent, it's all because of dog hair.

Wanted to get a cute little bull dog for our perfect little home...now...not so sure.

Incase you're wondering too, I only have half of ONE room to go! Then probably clean and patch all the walls and finally get to do more fun things like decorate and maybe paint.

Then one day, when I feel my perfect little home is as clean as heaven I'll invite YOU over to enjoy it with me.


Post move-um depression

Mark and I in NYC, our honeymoon, part one.
Mark and I lived together for a couple years before we got married, so when we came home from our honeymoon it wasn't like "Well, let's see how living together works out for us." But I was still rocked by the change, maybe just the change of status. It was a tough adjustment for me. I thank god we already dealt with the "You leave your laundry piled on the floor?" discussion. Obviously, over time, I adjusted just fine, life went on and it is continuing to get better and better.

Ada's birth
We learned to love one another :)
When Ada was born, I was not the excitedly happy mother looking forward to bringing the baby home to her cute pink room. I was terrified. I would've stayed in the hospital forever if they'd have let me and just let the nurses go on changing her diapers and telling me what to do. Whenever someone asked how I was doing I would immediately burst into tears and explain that I had NO clue that I had to wake up several times throughout the night. I pictured her being a baby, being like a newborn for a number of years. In my panic, I didn't realize that she would, sooner than I knew it, be a one year old, then a two year old (had I known about the two year old I might've been even more stressed out) and even one day be almost three. I had no clue about the development of a child. Of course, I did adjust, with a lot of help from Mark, my family and Mark's family.

Hannah and I
When Hannah was born, I was SO happy and to be honest, I still feel a little guilty sometimes because I was such the opposite the first time with Ada.

Ada helping me make cookies at the new house
Now, we have a house and it's been, like the other big changes, a tough adjustment for me. I was actually very surprised when the anxiety and fear began to creep up in the back of my mind. I've been so excited to live here and I still am. I love it and like everything else, I'll get better at it. Better at cleaning this place, better at managing my time with the girls, better at decorating and maintaining and relaxing and being.


Look at what I have

See the pictures from our move?
See all of the ideas I have to share...

I feel sooooo tired and not at all caught up with anything.
It's been one big change, one big adjustment and now the girls have big time cold/coughs.

Some time soon I'll have something good to say, something good to show but right now I'll post something else...
the girls, the day before we moved
and this is the inside of our new home, Ada took a picture of her orange juice one morning...




Yes, I am still alive.
Yes, I'm all moved in (but not close to put away).
Yes, our internet was re-connected today.
Yes, I have a lot more to say another day.